Not your Mother's Mumblr

Before she was born I wrote my sweet baby a letter. I plan to give it to her on her 18th birthday,or maybe when she graduates,or maybe when I think she needs it the most.

My dear,sweet first baby, Kaitlyn,

I’ve never written a letter to someone who isn’t even alive yet. I wonder what it’s like for you in my stomach right now. I wonder if you’re getting impatient in there and anxious at the same time to come to this world. I imagine you may be a little nervous too;it’s a little scary here sometimes. I’m a little nervous too. But don’t worry- I’ll take good care of you.

I dream about you all the time. After I feel you stretch and move I can’t stop thinking about what it must look like. What your tiny hands and feet look like as they flex and stretch. I dream about how beautiful your eyes are going to be. Whether they’ll be blue like your daddy’s or hazel like mine. No matter the color,they’re going to melt our hearts to pieces. I dream about how soft your skin is going to be and how I just can’t wait to hold you against me. 

I hope you understand how big of a life change this will be for your dad and I. But I also hope you understand how ready we are to have you. I hope you understand that we thought about you for years before we even decided to bring you into our family. I’m not saying things are going to be perfect. If I’ve learned anything in my 21 years on this Earth,it’s that things don’t always go the way you plan. But I believe that everything happens for a reason and the way they’re supposed to happen. No matter what we face as a family, I promise to love you entirely. 

I can hardly wait for you to be here and be in my arms. I can hardly wait to watch your father as he holds you for the first time. We are both so proud of you already. You have come a long way from a tiny little egg to a life-sustaining perfectly created human being.  You have been,and always will be, such a magnificent gift in our lives. You are living proof of how your dad and I have shared our love. 

I hope you grow to know that you are an original creation from our King,our Lord,our God. He has created you in His image and has made you to be who you are. I hope you understand that He loves you,even more than your dad and I could ever love you. He always has his helping hands guiding you. His plan for you has been set before we even knew of you. Kaitlyn, He will help you along this path He’s created for you. And although at times it may seem like you are walking alone,your God will never leave you. When you feel like you can’t turn to us or your friends,turn to Him and He will see you through it. Trust in Him always my child.

Kaitlyn,I hope that we are the parents you wish to have. Your father and I already only want the best for you. We want you to be healthy and happy. We want you to be well-educated and determined. We want you to be understanding and kind. We already know you can be these things and so much more. We don’t wish you to be who WE want you to be,but what you were designed to be. God has chosen us as your parents for a reason;please never forget that. There will be times that we make mistakes. Times that we don’t know exactly what to do. But your Dad and I will always do what we feel is best for you. 

Your Dad is an amazing man baby girl. He loves us so incredibly much. He is strong and faithful.  He is devoted and true.  He has been such a wonderful blessing in my life. And now,he’s going to be a wonderful blessing in yours. He is so positive and loving. When he found out about you his eyes filled with tears of happiness.  Ever since that moment he has fallen deeper and deeper in love with you.  He talks to you all the time,which I’m sure you’ve heard but may not remember when you get here.  He reads stories to you and even sings to you at times.  He also dreams about you.  He talks about you as much as he can.  And when he does,his face lights up like a bright star in the sky.  I’m pretty sure you are his shining star in the sky.  He will give you the most amazing love and tender care Kaitlyn.  He also will make mistakes as a new father. But everything he chooses for you,and us,is for the best.  He will always be in love with us Kaitlyn. I hope that our love for each other will show you what you deserve. I hope that our marriage and friendship with each other throughout the years will shine a light of truth and joy upon you so much that you want what we have. We’ll always have it.

I hope you have my artistic interest. An interest for the beautiful things in life and the passion to show that beauty to everyone around you. I hope you are able to walk through this world seeing the wonderful colors of it all. I hope you have an ear and love for music as I do. Music has brought so much joy and inspiration to my life that who wouldn’t want that for their child? But don’t worry,if neither of those things interest you it won’t bother me. I’ll see your passions and interests as amazing as well and help you achieve whatever goals you set.

I hope you have your father’s passion for learning. I hope you soak up all the knowledge you can; and then search for more. I hope you have his inquizitive mind. Asking questions is never a burden or a problem. Feel free to blurt them out whenever you feel the need. I hope you and your father can one day sit down and learn together. He’d love to teach you everything he knows.  I hope you give him chances to do so. 

I hope you get the loyalty that we both have. I hope you have the faithful spirit that we both have. I hope you have our joy for the little things.

When you get old enough to leave us it’ll break my heart to watch you go,but I’ll let you. I’ll smile through my tears with confidence that by that point I’ll have taught you everything I could to make it out in the world. I’ll have to let you learn a few lessons on your own,the hard way,but I know you’ll be fine. You’ll be more then fine. I have full faith in you and the decisions you will choose to make.

No matter what life throws us,I’m here for you, I love you and I promise to do my best to be the kind of mother that makes you proud to have a place you can call home.

All the love in the world,
Mom.